This Season, Let The Gift Of Santa Farts Keep Giving, Thanks To ManHands Soap Company.
This Christmas season, give the scented gift from ManHands Soap Company that reeks of all things manly. Honor the essence of the avatar of idealized manhood. Make your man smell all year-round like Santa Farts.
There could be none more manly. To boys and girls everywhere who do right by others, he is a tireless provider of life’s richest rewards. He commands a heard of eight hoofed and horned beasts who spirit him across the sky at speeds unthinkable enough to circle him around the world before the sun can rise again.
That isn’t the crack of a whip they hear behind them, either – ’tis the holly-jolly thunder from his mighty butt-cheeks roaring their approval at Mrs. Claus’s annual Beanie-Weenie Chili Supreme-y.
He leads faithful little people at his eternal beck and call. He works but one night a year, but his family wants for nothing. His beard brings lesser holiday avatars to their knees in homage.
Above all, the Mighty Claus has never once stopped to ask for directions.
It is an honor for your loved ones to waft the gassy anal gift of this great elf from the frozen North. Still, should another masculine aroma speak more deeply to your man’s rugged Brawny Man within, ManHands offers a wide selection of uniquely evocative scents. Who needs sandalwood? The finest fellow in your life could just as easily anoint his mitts in reminders of a roaring bonfire, fresh coffee, sizzling bacon, a brand-new baseball glove , our favorite monkey poop – even cash and cannabis.