Here in the United States, our elected president has a curiously patriotic hard-on for the phrase “merry Christmas.” On the other hand, we and the makers of the Let’s Get Lit LED Beer Glass could much more easily get behind the more universally appealing notion of making America tipsy again. Load us up with enough ...
Oh, have you ever been bad this year. You make a Boy Scout side-by-side with Gandhi and Mother Teresa handing out ice cream to the homeless look like a newly neutered wolverine nursing a toothache. Your patron saint is Leroy Brown. You are everything Michael Jackson was singing about. If being “bad” enough to find ...
Screw it. We actually feel just a bit wrong calling these glorious Christmas sweaters "ugly". If being "ugly" is wrong, we don't want to be right. OK, except that one with Santa Claus recreating the photo of a starkers Kim Kardashian Force-levitating spraying champagne into a glass perched on her giant ass. That ...
Remember when you were young, and Christmas lights were something… amazing? Although, Christmas lights can light-up your house, they do take some considerable amount of time to hang them properly, and safely. Not all Christmas lights are the same, and though some folks look for bargain Christmas lights, they ...
Assuming Santa Claus is more of a jolly old tea-drinker than a coffee man, we can't help but believe he wouldn't touch a cuppa brewed any way except with the aid of this DCI Candy Cane Tea Infuser. Will it imbue your brew with the soothing, cool taste of peppermint? Well, no, unless your favorite loose tea leaves ...
This Season, Let The Gift Of Santa Farts Keep Giving, Thanks To ManHands Soap Company. This Christmas season, give the scented gift from ManHands Soap Company that reeks of all things manly. Honor the essence of the avatar of idealized manhood. Make your man smell all year-round like Santa Farts. There could be ...
Even Sith lords get in the holiday spirit, don't they? Pssst. Hey, Dime-Store Clark Griswold: a certain Sith lord finds your lack of egg nog disturbing. We pity scum who find a 16-Foot Inflatable Darth Vader glowering down at them from your yard and still figure that a re-gifted Hayden Christensen Snuggie from ...
It was a Nightmare Before Christmas Cuckoo Clock ringing, and all throughout the house, not a creepy crawling creature was stirring, not even a mouse. It was 1993 when this Tim Burton film was released; since then, Christmas has never been the same. For fans of the stop motion film fantasy, this cuckoo clock is a ...
Just what the holly-jolly hell is it about absurdly non-Yuletide Christmas movies like THE KRAMPUS that make them the belles of the ball come December? Our educated guess? Well, by the time Dec. 24 or so rolls around, at least half the sane men, women and children the world over have been inundated without a shred ...
You've all heard of Santa Claus. Red nose, belly of jelly, a hearty Ho-ho-ho ready at his lips. But do you know Krampus? Think of Krampus as the Anti-Santa, or, better yet, Santa's bastard step-brother who always got coal during the holidays. According to ancient Eastern European lore, Krampus is a horned ...
Jason Lazarus