Black Like My Soul Marshmallows Is The Delicious Light That Feeds Our Tasty Void
You cannot deceive these Black Like My Soul Marshmallows with that inky void comprising the furthest recesses of your being.
Even a hollow, heartless husk wouldn’t dare resist this morose foodstuff’s indulgently sweet vanilla taste. Relinquish your desperate, clinging grip on rainbow-crapping unicorns and other such colorful flavors of tripe. Slightly boob-shaped tufts of edible fluff coated liberally with scrumptious black sugar crystals await you within this generous 280-gram jar. There, you shall find salvation from sing-song merriment and experience the genuine happiness only the cold and forsaken find buried within delicious misery.
Every morsel you devour brings you just a small step closer to putting on your Dashboard Confessional vinyl and crying over your long-neglected LiveJournal. Give in, you vacant-hearted deviant. Drown the bliss of your favorite cocoa in the dark humor and existential sorrow of Black Like My Soul Marshmallows.