When someone warned Jamie Wolfe that shaving just causes hair to grow back even thicker and faster, we have to believe the hirsute pride of Nampa, Idaho imagined his every Christmas wish had arrived at once.
What? Exactly what else would we assume about an intrepid and evidently tragically bored man who enlisted his wife to market a calendar celebrating the (admittedly, incredible) intricate designs the couple trimmed together into his back hair?
Hair has always been an artful expression of identity, an aspect of appearance with personal symbolism dating back to the the Biblical Old Testament. Even today, we have presented perhaps ill-advised folk who have slathered their roots in blends of glitter and pomade and even caked their beards and mustaches in the feared craft herpes. We’ve seen men shape their facial hair into the stuff of more ridiculous FINAL FANTASY character designs.
True, we’ve also seen grown men and women shave some cheeky adornments into the growth decorating their more delicate down-yonder bits, but that’s often a diversion in the course of truly minimizing the front yard. This though? We’re simply left to raise an eyebrow or two that Wolfe was sporting such a prodigious growth that, the way Michaelangelo gazed into his marble and saw his David, he scoped out his natural Wookie-fur coat and envisioned the birth of Jesus Christ.
Somewhere, light-years from our frontier, the extraterrestrial intelligent life with which we’ve desperately sought contact for decades are scoping Wolfe’s calendar out and looking into restraining orders against us.
C
Source – Geekologie
