Have your kids hit that adorable stage wherein every three words out of their precious paycheck-devouring mouths seem to be, “We want a puppy?”
Well, don’t be afraid to low-ball your counter-offers.
Why sink hundreds of dollars or more into a four-legged friend when you could gift your spawn two six-legged companions for the cost of a large pizza? That’s 50 percent more legs at a fraction the lifetime cost!
If you remain unconvinced that your tykes can handle a gerbil, let alone an affable canine, “compromise” on a pair of Adult Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches. We could be mistaken, given just how many weird, wonderful and “WTF?” highlights we bring to you every week, but this might be the first featured Unique Hunters item money-back guaranteed to arrive alive.
With proper care, these little buggers up to five years before being repurposed as dinner for the pet snake we have to assume you might eventually promote your little crumb-snatchers to looking after. Along the way, they might even demonstrate the miracle of new life to the ragamuffins: unless specified otherwise when you order, every pair is sexed to confirm one male and one female.
Then again, why let kids have all the fun? If you’ve been in the market for divorce but just can’t seem to stomach pulling the trigger yourself, Adult Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches make excellent Valentine’s Day gifts.