Unicorn Head Attack Plaque Is The Festive Taxidermy Tim Curry Intended

We like to imagine there’s a cut of David Fincher’s SE7EN out there in which Kevin Spacey’s hired delivery driver cocks up the package labels and instead of staring down at Gwyneth Paltrow’s lopped-off head, he just stares confused at this charming masterpiece from the Peter S. Beagle’s Nightmares Signature Taxidermy Collection.

Seriously, the possibilities radiating from this realistically sized 3-D Unicorn Head Plaque are both tantalizing and many. Over brandy cigars around a roaring autumn fire, regale cocktail-party companions with your tales of pursuing the most majestic big game on Candy Mountain. Feel your guests’ chills as you remind them that the Red Bull nearly ran you into the see alongside your quarry. Set the mood by painting your confused moments in which you mistook Mia Farrow’s singing for an injured wail that chilled your spine to ice in Legend.

Not like that’s much of a stretch.

Each plaque is fabricated from synthetic resin and is constructed metal keyhole for mounting the mythical quarry flush to any wall.

WARNING: This decorative wall-hanging may cause Mia Sara to burst into inept song and Tom Cruise to grin like the world’s handsomest Pedobear.

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