For everyone who has ever wanted to stuff that one nonstop-jabbering friend’s mouth indefinitely at will, we bring you Face Mats novelty coasters.
Silence is golden. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone appreciated that? You may never convince Roy to cease his verbal vomiting about that time he spilled a Slurpee on Don Knotts or his collection of commemorative Nickelback spoons, but until some omnipotent power smiles upon you and strikes him mute in his sleep, you can at least lay a cold one on a coaster emblazoned with a zoomed-in and cropped print of something vaguely resembling his perpetually gabbing gob. Each box of Face Mats contains 20 double-sided coasters, each bearing two charmingly derpy kissers. Best of all, when it’s time to mill about and mingle or simply relocate to another seat with your drink, these enemies of coffee table-ruining rings everywhere are made to be gently clipped to one’s schnozz and worn as a kitschy icebreaker.
If you can’t wear a smile of your own, Face Mats will lend you someone else’s.