Yankme Funny Scented Candles Give You Cheap Hores & Dirty Sanchez

YankMe Candle Offers Gifts Of Dog Vomit and Mudd Butt For The Holidays, Saves Puppies

Look, ladies, let’s get something straight: there’s a reason we wish we could buy out YankMe Candle’s entire stock and hand it out across the street from the potpourri swamps you deign to drag us into when we’re kind enough to give in and go shopping with you.

Scratch that. We have more than one valid reason. To focus on the first and foremost, though, men are creatures nestled in reality. We find comfort in familiar aromas that have two-stepped across our hardened nostrils since before the puppy dogs’ tails were added to our blends of snips and snails.

Like you, we also have vivid imaginations and irresistible impulses when it comes to practical jokes. Oh, if only Grandma’s Fart smelled of peaches and cream like these 100% soy candles claim it should. The ladies in our lives would surely believe in magic if an Old Man’s Balls really gave off an airy lavender perfume when burned. Would that our finest Dutch Oven really smelled of holly, our wives and girlfriends might quit trying to choke us out with the sheets.

Sometimes, it’s OK for the fantasy to eclipse the reality.

There’s an even greater upside to these superb-smelling candles with gag-gift names made to entertain men and women alike: 50% of all proceeds benefit animal shelters nationwide.

There you have it. Buy your true love a Cheap Hoar this Christmas, save a puppy. Deal?
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9 Total Score
Disgustingly Funny

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