Wiener Dog Chariot Team Makes Us Rethink Horsepower

Further proof that dogs will one day become the fearsome infantry tanks of the inevitable rebellion when cats evolve opposable thumbs: it takes only three miniature dachshunds – reportedly, “with the stamina of an ox and speed of a greyhound” – to drag around this little South African girl seated on a skateboard at a brisk little clip.

By all means, give it a thought. Those are weiner dogs. Harness a team of actual greyhounds, launch a tennis ball over their heads, and this toe-headed Ben Hur might just lap a nitro-burning funny car.

*Ahem* Not that we’d know from experience or anything. Not at all. Don’t bother looking for a DCFS file describing our culpability in any such incident. The only witness reportedly took a trip to Belize and missed the hearing.

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