Come at us, Internet. You’re having a great run powered by cats and all, but we are “dog people” through and through. Come on, now. Look at those frantic wagging tails. Watch that endlessly joyful bounding hop at the sound of the doorbell. Deal with that adorable little cold, wet, twitchy noSWEET CANDIED MONKEY NUTS, WHAT HAPPENED TO COMMANDER CUDDLES’ FACE?!
Well, then. Oil may be pounding its way through the floor on its way China, but nightmare fuel is evidently trending toward a rally.
Headlining the Fall 2015 Albert Wesker Collection on the runways of Russia and Raccoon City, Zveryatam’s Werewolf Muzzle will likely accomplish one of two outcomes with its gruesomely detailed bloody teeth in a sharpened snarl: set a new standard in loading down pants with urine, or earn Patches a mouthful of 9mm shells courtesy of some uniquely traumatized gamer’s RESIDENT EVIL-inspired PTSD.
Giving a Pomeranian the visage of an uncharacteristic thirst for blood aside, this $30 imported muzzle is fabricated from quality non-toxic plastic with an easy-wearing leather lining inside and durable, equally comfortable nylon straps. Your pup may suddenly be a fearsome monster, but there’s no reason he has to chafe.
Um, this really should go without saying, but we strongly recommend not dressing your fur-baby in the Werewolf Muzzle around neighbors to be trigger-happy. At the last Unique Hunters quarterly company picnic, the office pet doberman Senor Sriracha dug into some spaghetti with extra marinara and we barely disarmed Duane from Accounting while he yelled about the T-virus and how “There’s no S.T.A.R.S. to save us!”
He’s now limited to games starring Kirby.