Once upon a time, in the real world centuries past amidst humankind’s growing dominance as Earth’s ruling species, our ancestors decided to tackle a nagging problem,
See, we’re bipedal mammals. Our feet are the foundation for effective balance, efficient locomotion, and once upon a time, such vital everyday exercises as hunting and gathering food and putting as much distance as possible between us and apex predators that damn sure didn’t vote for us to hold dominion over land and sea. One day, somebody decided to address the mastodon in the middle of the cave: these all-important extremities took an unprotected dangerous beating on a daily basis between constant exposure to wind, moisture, cuts, bruises, and extreme heat and cold.
As a species, we needed to either get to work on a proper protective layer or make trailblazing “strides” bouncing around on bloody stumps.
Neither Azeroth nor Draenor is exactly renowned for efficient mass transit or thriving Uber networks. If you can’t ride somewhere, you’re walking. Most importantly, if you don’t have the good sense of an orc to spring for at least something as cozy as these Warcraft Durotan Plush Slippers, then you deserve every spike, rock, blade, tooth, and claw that shreds your soles into stinky, bloody carne asada.
We’d have gladly loaned Lothar a pair of these super-cozy plush beauties – originally designed by and exclusively available from ThinkGeek – rather than think about the poor man traipsing his naked dogs barking ‘n bleeding all the way across every unforgiving surface in the Realm. OK, so they aren’t exactly made with “IRL” raiding in mind. Think more along the lines of optimal comfort while bundled up in a hoodie and pajama pants for the average equivalent of a full day per week that a typical player spends logged in to WoW.
Nevertheless, they at least LOOK like Draka and Durotan would vouch for their battle-readiness, no? These one-size-fits-most slippers are adorned with apropos dimensional fur, fine embroidery, impressive faux-spikes, no-slip dots on the bottom fabric, and the icing on the cake, the mark of the Frostwolf clan on the sides.
For the Horde!