Pump enough beer and pot into us and there isn’t a flat, round object in the world that won’t remind us just how badly we could go for a pizza at that moment. As it happens, when we get higher than all but a select 1 percent of humankind has ever been in all recorded history, there also isn’t a flat, round object we won’t attempt to slice up a pie in a pinch.
Look, we once made a suitable bong out of a glass eye and a catheter tube. To us, fashioning a makeshift pizza cutter from, say, our hipster roommate’s tear-stained Dashboard Confessional vinyl is like telling MacGyver you need a nuclear reactor and handing him actual uranium: it’s anticlimactic child’s play.
Sadly, our roommate moved out and we are inexplicably too lazy to actually buy a pizza cutter. Hey, that could buy one of us a cheap, terrible beer in a pinch.
Luckily, the Top Spin Pizza Cutter’s styling lets us remember the good times spent sullying our estranged compatriot’s awful emo records with golden, gooey cheese and zesty tomato sauce. That’s right, the black blade resembles a record and the handle’s styling is fashioned to look like the arm of a turntable extended over it. In addition to looking nifty, it also sports an easy-grip design with a high gloss finish to the steel blade.