Stare long and hard at this Time: Man Of The Year Bar-Size Mirror, and ask yourself one all-important question: “Am I a Lebowski achiever?”
If so, we can’t help but abide. After all, you can clearly contemplate nihilism while unapologetically reveling in your innate narcissism. That’s exactly what makes you so damn cool, El Duderino. It’s good knowing you’re out there. You take it easy for all us sinners. That’s why you deserve just one fleeting moment of every day to stare into your own two eyes and take stock of all those ins, outs, strands and what-have-yous kept manageable only with a mind kept limber by a pretty strict drug regimen.
You do a whole lot of nothing from sunrise to sunset. Wherever you choose to accomplish something measuring between “little” and “nothing” for hours at a time, at least this handsome adornment will really pull the room together and let you ruminate in style on just how much you hate the f***in’ Eagles.