Please, Do Not Use Switchpop To Recreate “Beat It” Knife-Fight
First things first: we love the Switchpop, but everyone has “that one friend”. For all we know, you’ve been both caked in and tasked with cleaning up his or her messes since before one of you grew hair in odd places and started having weird thoughts about boys or girls first.
Yes, it’s that one friend who sees a switchblade-style bottle opener and thinks it would just be all of the best laughs at once to brandish this slick little bar-tool in a threatening manner before the ultimate “Gotcha!”
Don’t be “that” friend – you know, the one who ends up kissing curb or catching an all-time hilariouus ass-kicking for having a little too much fun with, say, a zealous authority figure or just someone with few qualms about creatively turning a handy object into a prostate probe.
Because, really, it would be a shame to see that happen to this finely styled bottle opener’s polished pearlized handle. This lockable piece is such a handsome little conversation starter, it would be a shame for some jackass to use it to trigger a misunderstanding.
Come on, folks. Learn from the folly of the wastes of perfectly good carbon who decided our world would be a better place with iPhone cases styled to look just like handguns. Don’t be memorialized as the inspiration for the phrase, ” Ain’t that just like an idiot to start a knife-fight with a bottle opener….”