Stress Sausages Are Ready To Take A Beating

Ohhhh, my. Well, it’s been our affectionate pet-name for years, anyway. If anyone needs us, we’ll be in our bunks breaking in our Stress Sausages.

STRESS SAUSAGES (1)

The good people at Firebox (yes….really) have given the world the Ninth Symphony of meaty playthings. We’re ever-so-positive that any similarity between squeezing, stretching, bending and twisting a Stress Sausage in any of their three equally satisfying lengths and malleable thicknesses – choose from Frankfurter, Saveloy & Weisswurst – and tenderizing one’s actual pork is purely incidental. Surely, you jest.

Well, we sort of do – and you won’t believe what we’ve affectionately named “Shirley”.

Each magnificent meat is crafted from can’t-bust-it tough rubber for guaranteed personal satisfaction every time. Work it until the stress runs out and leaves you ready for a nice, soothing midday nap.

Hey, after all, if you can’t please yourself, who CAN you make happy?


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Stress Sausages
Stress Sausages
$11

 

7.5 Total Score
Ahhhhhhh.. Feels Good To Pull One Out.

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