Stiff Bull Coffee Will Give You An Erection, Unless Sales Go Flacid Under FDA Scrutiny

Reports claim that over 200,000 online customers each month currently wade balls-deep into a whole new pit of the sexual enhancement product landfill, and this one really makes our northernmost heads hurt: an instant coffee purported to improve erections.

Stiff bull – yes, really – may proudly declare itself “The Relationship Saver” right on its packaging, but with the herbal-infused boner coffee now available in the United States, the FDA has warned would-be drinkers of this java for jimmies that your morning wood may come at the cost of a dangerously lowered heart rate.

The marketing skinny on Stiff Bull touts its herbal blend of tonkat ali, maca root, and guarana as all-natural stimulants trusted for centuries across Asia and South America to turn up the burner under any man’s meat. Routine FDA tests also revealed at least one batch laced with desmethyl carbodenafil, a chemical notably similar in structure to sildenafil, Viagra’s active ingredient.

Making that particularly interesting, the head of the firm peddling Stiff Bull has gone out of his way to hold sexual supercharger as essentially superior to Viagra. President Keith Hanson differentiates the two by claiming that while Viagra stimulates an instant erection, one cup of Stiff Bull energizes a man while setting off a natural hormonally enhanced stiffy. Unlike the “false erections” Hanson argues Viagra can cause, a Stiff Bull’s humping horn is supposedly accompanied by increased overall energy boosted by the maca root and longer-lasting sexual stamina.

Herein lies the problem.

Have you ever listened closely to a Viagra commercial? How about that part right at the end about the hazards of dropping the blue shell in tandem with some prescription medications? That’s because sildenafil interacts with nitrates such as those contained in nitroglycerin to lower blood pressure to dangerous levels. Hence, Viagra’s manufacturers strongly discourage patients undergoing drug treatments for heart disease, diabetes, or high blood pressure or cholesterol from using their product.

Of course, Stiff Bull stands tall in the face of pressure to perform. A spokesman recently fired back that the FDA just happened to randomly receive a randomly tainted batch not indicative of the coffee’s actual makeup. Despite no documented side effects or complaints from customers, the product has reportedly since been sourced to a new supplier as of September while the tainted batch has been recalled from circulation.

Source – DailyMail

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The best part of waking up, is an erection near your cup!

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