To borrow a sentiment from MORTAL KOMBAT’s Lin Kuei, “Be more stealthful than the night, Ninja Baby, and more deadly than the dawn.”
No, seriously, young ankle-biters. Be quiet just long enough for us to down a glass of wine and catch up on ARROW uninterrupted. While you’re at it, if you’re going to fill a onesie with concentrated anally detonated evil, make the next one a real biohazard; we fixed the garbage disposal instead of watching DVR’d hockey this afternoon, so it’s Parent #2’s turn to exorcise some green-apple demons, if you smell what we’re cooking.
The best advice we were ever given: dress for the job you want. Unfortunately, if we let our toddlers dress themselves, the insinuation would be “Nudist Resort Counselor”, so we’re calling an audible: our world has far too few ninjas.
The Stealth Baby Ninja Bib ensures that your tot takes a solid first step toward a life commended to the lethal shadows. Behind every baby’s formidable affinity for weaponizing projectile vomit, lies the ancient instincts of a silent warrior sworn to never give the parental oppressors a single moment of peaceful quiet when they most expect it.
Always make sure your faithful assassin-to-be looks the part with this accessory’s stain-repellant back fabric and soft printed front. To easily uniform your rugrat, the Stealth Baby Ninja Bib comes with side hook-and-loop closures for swift equipping of nocturnal camouflage.
