Snail Shell Helmet Is The Peak Of Mollusk Couture For Cosplayers Living In The Fast Lane

Etsy merchant HighNoonCreations brings the world wearable “technology” we at Unique Hunters can enthusiastically adopt immediately: the Snail Shell Helmet.

This urethane rubber fashion statement just might be a prototype for a giant leap forward in mankind’s communion with Mother Nature. Sure, it’s daring fashion with tightly wound side-curls that say, “Princess Leia met Hell’s garden pests and turned them into hats as a warning.” However, one day amidst the fallout from worldwide nuclear war, our escargot may just decide they’ve had about enough of being culinary curiosities and rise up against their French tormentors and litter new gardens with humanity’s remains.

When that happens, you can bet we’ll be ready to carry this chic design over into more durable, battle-tested materials and fashion armor from these Mollusks of Unusual Size.

Please understand, none of these predictions/rantings are intended to imply that Unique Hunters endorses or participates in the breeding of genetically modified irradiated snails for the purpose of researching suspiciously specific contingency plans for a mollusk uprising. Any accusations to the contrary are just utterly silly.

Snail shell helmet (3)Snail shell helmet (1)

7.5 Total Score
No Slowpokes Dare Wear This Helmet

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