We can’t have nice things. You can likely handle this polyester Ship Porthole Shower Curtain. We can’t.
We’re geeks. We are highly referential creatures. Everything reminds us of something far-flung and far more fascinating than whatever happens to surround us. Normally, we have a handle on it. However, this handsome waterproof and mold, mildew and soap-resistant curtain has sabotaged every “third date” we’ve attempted since picking it up.
It really is like looking out from a bathysphere and unto a crystal-blue ocean. Word of advice: never show this scene to someone who replays the entire BioShock trilogy once a year. We’ve learned the hard way six times, now, that our dates don’t find the “Escaping Rapture” roleplay nearly as amusing after we interrupt their show by flickering the bathroom lights and growling, “Is it someone new?” while we barge in wearing a bunny mask and brandishing a hook.
People are weird.