i-Scream Vibrator Lets You Have Sex With Ice Cream…No, Really!

If you’re of the Christian persuasion, you probably hold it to be true that God gave man dominion over all creatures great and small. If you work at Unique Hunters, you no doubt realize entirely too well that God leveled the playing field between mankind and beasts by forcing Homo sapiens to ask the same question of every animal, vegetable and mineral it encounters: “Can I f*** it?”

Hailing from the shelves of Firebox, the online retailers where you can also treat yourself to the iPhone-mounted IZVIBE vibrator and the into-any-orifice-anywhere-at-any-time extendable fiber optic Inner Selfie Stick, we bring you the i-Scream Vibrator. If you’ve ever felt irrestistibly compelled to defile a frozen dessert, this is your one guaranteed reprieve from ever being judgmentally banned from another Coldstone Creamery.

British sex toy designer Shiri Zinn is reputed to count the likes of Angelina Jolie, Baby Spice, Kate Moss, Jenna Jameson and even Ivana Trump among her well-to-do clientele. If even one among them has ever sought the cool comfort of ice cream against their hot-and-horny nethers, we’re certain they would annoint this 10-mode vibrator in the 1:1 guise of an ice cream cone to be Zinn’s masturbatory masterpiece, right down to the stylized chocolate syrup.

Both you AND this high-end carnal confection of fine waterproof silicone will be turned on at the push of a button as you cycle through its 10 crafty pleasure settings. Each toy even comes packaged in a delightfully kitschy retro box that plays a bouncy 1920s-inspired jazz melody. Once you’re all melty, commit the i-Scream to the nearest USB port to recharge while you solemnly vow to never again get your good humor from an actual edible King Cone.

Hey, why would you when your intimate sweet escape furthers a good cause? Zinn has pledged a portion of the proceeds from each i-Scream Vibrator to a charity committed to providing “sustainable change” to adolescent girls in developing countries.

The i-Scream requires 12 hours of charging with the included USB accessory before its first use. Every full charge is good for three hours of indulgent play. Modes include:

  • Low, Medium and High Steady Vibration
  • High-Low-High “Rollercoaster” Vibration
  • Fast Pulses
  • Five Fast Pulses Repeated
  • Deep Rumbling Slow Pulses, for a gradually faster and more powerful sensation
  • Long Deep Pulses, for increasing speed and intensity
  • Short Pulses With One Long Pulse
  • Fast Pulses With One Medium Pulse

 

 

I-SCREAM VIBRATOR (2)I-SCREAM VIBRATOR (3)

9 Total Score
Good to the last lick. SLURP!

User Rating: 5 (1 votes)
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