Remember the moment in the first season of “Game Of Thrones” when Daenerys proved her mettle to the Dothraki crones by scarfing down the heart of a horse? Well, if the loved and feared Khaleesi had found that pericardium just a tad bland, Satan’s Blood Hot Sauce would have probably given the mother of dragons just the right bite to om-nom-nom the aorta and go rooting around inside the carcass for a second course.
This is no condiment for amateurs. Satan’s Blood Hot Sauce loads a nuclear payload of more than 800,000 Scoville units of pepper extract into every 1.35 fl.oz. bottle shaped fittingly like a blood vial. Take heed, tacos. Beware, burritos. This stuff is born under a bad sign, conceived during an October 2000 full moon on Friday the 13th.
This liquid hellfire may be culinary napalm, but it ain’t evil. It’s just good-looking. Long after you’ve burned through this fine concoction of chile extract and red wine vinegar and Satan’s Blood has burned through your mouth’s soft tissue, we guarantee you won’t be willing to part with its vessel like some spent Tabasco bottle. Looking like some nefarious rare item dropped right out of “Diablo III”, you’re looking at a 2002 Scovie Award for ingenious packaging.
It’s a perfect place to distill your tears as salty reminders to think very carefully before someone offers to spritz your jambalaya with anything named to imply it was bled and bottled directly from Evil Incarnate.