We’re going to give the patron saint of backwoods cryptozoology the benefit of a doubt: barring a royal Travelocity screwing, Sasquatch would have precious few reasons to be troubled by a mere gnome.
Still, we’ll extend the Gnome Wrecker Garden Gnome a little credit: this double-tough poly resin lawn sculpture pretty accurately demonstrates just why the space beneath nine feel and around 700 lbs. of the missing link between Man and Monkey is no country for sawed-off magical folk. Let this nine-inch statue serve warning to all wee folk who couldn’t make it onto most of the best Six Flags rides: here, there be ape-men. This funny garden gnome statue is 9 inches tall of monstrous awesomeness.
Watch your step, for they aren’t always treading lightly with theirs.