If you like the firm feel of a pair of kangaroo testicles in your hands, then you have serious problems… But in this day and age where digital manufacturing is open to everyone and every community is represented on the web there are products out there that cater to all tastes.
Thus, there is now a semi-socially acceptable way you can hold onto a kangaroo’s scrotum thanks to ‘Roo Balls’. This is the world’s first (we imagine) bottle opener that has kangaroo balls where the handle should be.
Apparently they’re very soft. Which is… great? If you like your bottle openers to be soft (who doesn’t?). They also have the excellent effect of weirding people right out, which we suspect is rather more the point. When your friend asks for one of your beers and you open them with a pair of hairy testicles, they might think twice about asking again.
But we know what you’re thinking: what kind of kangaroo balls are these? Well, you’ll be glad to know that they’re the balls of the ‘Red Kangaroo’ which is the largest species of all. The fur is light and slightly curly and as mentioned – very soft. You could take them to bed with you in fact, if that wouldn’t be so, so, incredibly weird.