If ever there were a character-appropriate gem among licensed Star Wars merchandise, our nod goes to this R2-D2 Coffee Press.
Why, you ask? Simple: the great Anthony Daniels did far too fantastic a job bringing C3PO’s mincing, effeminate whining to life. Lots of people have their champions of pity throughout the saga, those almost obstinately grating personalities that everyone else would shove out the Millennium Falcon’s cargo bay doors just to watch them fall into the nearest sun. We could understand it when it comes to, say, the Ewoks, but there are people ballsy enough to try and defend the existence of Jar Jar Binks without breaking into an instant 100-meter dash the instant the last syllable of “Gungan” leaves their mouths.
With all due respect to the icon of human-cyborg relations, that shuffling pedantic golden ninny would be a bit much for us to listen to before coffee, let alone after. In fact, we have no doubt this nerdy kitchen essential mirrors how the late Kenny Baker probably survived all those morning shoots having to listen to Daniels: a contraption in which you combine boiling water with grounds in a glass compartment, allow a few minutes of brewing, then plunge and dispense up to 32 oz. of murder-prevention potion.
Of course, the way we imagine it, the coffee would actually be brewing above Baker’s head with a little mechanism to drip it down into a mug or thermos below from which he could sip it. Within the universe itself, there’s no way Han, Chewie, Luke, Leia, and even Obi-Wan didn’t look at the little roving trashcan a few times and think to themselves, “You know, a little retrofitting and re-arranging of circuits…”
Yes, we have put way too much thought into this. Also, yes, we have experimented with this. Trials have included actual little people. That is all our attorney will allow us to admit.