This is it. Many Bothans slaved for hours being paid in Red Bull and expired boxes of C-3POs cereal to refine this idea until we finally struck oil and quit drilling. If ThinkGeek can fashion perfectly paired BB-8 and R2-D2 Mini Fridges, then the time has come to revive the Saturday-morning cartoon tradition with a buddy series starring the galaxy’s greatest astromech from the original trilogy and what appears to be the bizarre love child of unprotected interfacing with the original Death Star while he was “shutting down the garbage compactor”.
Seriously, just go with us and imagine it. You wake up at the dawn of your weekend. Within Artoo, you find either six frosty 12 oz. cans of the frosty beverage of your choosing or perhaps some ice-cold milk. Within the belly of BB-8, a muffin kept pleasantly warm and moist and ready for you. Reverse the two, if Artoo is your muffin man, since both 11-inch-tall fridges come equipped with the same alternate warming and cooling settings.
You then settle in to roll out into 100% subtitled adventure alongside two beeping awesome droids.
No, literally “beeping”. THERE IS NO INTELLIGIBLE SPOKEN DIALOGUE! It’s all these two plucky buckets of bolts rolling around with running translation across the bottom of the screen – ideally, provided by aggravated and exhausted closed-captioning personnel. We have a great feeling about our premiere pilot movie, ASTROMECHS MEET THE WOOKIES. An entire script page already consists of nothing but vowel sounds. We’re trying to get Morgan Freeman and Liam Neeson for the leads.
Maybe we can even get another member of The Police to pen the theme song, like DROIDS before us.
Oh, an Emmy won’t be necessary, thanks all the same. In exchange, we simply demand that the Expanded Universe be returned to the officially recognized STAR WARS canon. We await your decision.
