Our inherent nerdy tendencies compel us to accept a lot of the Pokémon universe’s more absurd traits on a lot of extremely patient faith. Consider us shocked that this Pokémon Munchlax Lunch Bag would draw our credulity’s line right about where we’re supposed to vouch for carting around our snacks inside a living creature.
We look the other way regularly when it comes to a great deal of Pokémon lore. We dismiss the implications of sweepingly sanctioned animal cruelty that would have had our world campaigning to fire Michael Vick into orbit strapped to the outside of a SpaceX rocket. We contain our discomfort with the theory that adorable, whimsical Pokémon are not only both cherished pets and sporting combatants in their world, but more than likely also a food source. However, shoving a hoagie down poor, put-upon little Munchlax’s throat and telling him to keep that safe for us until noon isn’t just abusive. It is completely unnecessary.
Just give a little thought to what you sanction by cramming your foodstuffs into this teal-and-cream canvas bag’s roomy main compartment. If we’re playing along with every other characteristic of this world, need we remind you all that Poké Ball technology thrives here? While you repurpose Munchlax’s innards to tote your Twinkies, you have size-shifting projectiles that fit inside an average pocket and are designed to crap on the laws of physics by shifting their interior dimensions to accommodate living animals without significantly altering their outer shapes.
With a little patient repurposing, we could cart full Thanksgiving dinners inside a ball measuring 2.5 inches in diameter and weighing about 5.5 ounces. Meanwhile, you’re putting food inside an organism called “Munchlax” and expecting it not to eat it. Screw the miraculous gift of science. We’ll just load this small, happy-looking animal’s body up with a light meal and let our sustenance travel that way.
You should have killed us when you had the chance, Mewtwo.