One thing about Poké Balls baffles us more than every other question we have about the eminently strange world of Pokémon: instead of using this matter-manipulating technology strictly to confine and transport wild creatures until they can be made to fight each other, how has it not given rise to revolutionary space-saving personal storage solutions?
Metaphorically, the sizable sound pumped out by the Poké Ball Bluetooth Speaker represents our closest equivalent to stuffing a metric ton of Snorlax crap into a five-pound bag.
Anywhere you go, you can sync your tablet, phone, computer, or any other Bluetooth-enabled gadget with this palm-sized dynamo to stream any audio you choose, from music to active calls. With a rechargeable lithium-ion battery, around nine hours of play from a full five-hour USB charge, and a 20-foot wireless connection range, it’s the essential sensibly sized sound system for kicking out the Johto jams up and down Route 48.
We feel compelled to make one thing clear, though: throwing the Poké Ball Bluetooth Speaker at your favorite artists will not enslave them to perform whatever songs you crave on a whim anytime you shout, “Nickelback, I choose you!” You will merely break your speaker, possibly concuss Chad Kroeger, reveal to the world that a 99-year-old deaf man probably has keener taste in music than you, and still attain a level of heroism hitherto reserved for dissidents who stand in the paths of tanks.