Onean Electric Surfboard Guarantees The Surf Is Where You Find It

We’re full grown adults and resigned to admit it: we are never going to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Hey, time makes fools of us all.

You know what, though? We still lucked out. We were born into an imaginative, nerdy monkey-see-MYTHBUSTERS-monkey-make-non-dairy-creamer-cannon generation that saw two-stroke engines bolted onto skateboards and Michael J. Fox shredding on a hoverboard and thought, “Hell yeah, we can!”

So, while the bad news that Nature dealt us the bad hand to never become man-sized, ninjitsu-schooled reptiles wielding ancient Japanese tools of death, we at least get to emulate that sweet sewer-surfing stage from TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE ARCADE GAME.

Remember, kids: if you feel inspired to take the Onean Electric Surfboard down to your local sewer, don’t put the mouthful of watery waste you swallow off on us, capiche? That being said, we can’t tell a lie, the surfboard that never needs a wave again is a thing of genius to those of us who largely grew up exploring standing, waveless water.

We admit, we at first felt about the same way toward these wetland wonders that we did toward the motorized skateboard: “Why?” Then we saw the action stills, and it became crystal clear. Onean transplanted some surprisingly powerful electric engines into the built-to-cruise, easygoing Manta and speed-demon Carver models. That power pack punches out a water jet that keeps surfers upright atop rivers, channels, lakes and any other sizable body of still water.

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Source – TheAwesomer

8.5 Total Score
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