We don’t always get black-out drunk by 4 p.m. – hey, six days a week qualifies as “not always”. When we do, we do it with a Nipyata(!) full of top-notch hooch.
At first, we had to ask, “What the deep-fried hell is a ‘Nipyata!’?” The newest revolution in pasties? A knockoff of a sporty Mazda coupe? Though both possibilities are now bookmarked in our journal of trillion-dollar ideas to fund our retirement on a moon colony founded by Richard Branson, the actual product is something much more fun: a selection of colorful pinatas stuffed to the brim with tiny bottles of the booze of your choice, each adorned with personalized “fortune” messages to mark the occasion.
The classic Stay Classy Burrito!, El Jefe! tequila bottle and self-explanatory I Love Beer! are all fun, versatile designs suitable for any festive occasion where that cheeky exclamation point looks more appropriate than it ever will attached to anything asking that you vote for Jeb Bush or watch a Rob Schneider sitcom on CBS. Should you require a Nipyata! tailored to your specific celebratory revelry, there’s always the 21st Big Night!, Big 30!, Bigger 40! and Yikes 50?! birthday/anniversary models.
The good news is, each is available either with or without a selection of 50ml safe plastic bottles including Svedka, Goldschlager, Skyy, Fireball, Jose Cuervo and Jaegermeister, among other boozy beverages. Any Nipyata! ordered without nips are available at up to $70 off products that ship with libations included. Every Nipyata! comes with everything needed to party in style, including 20 feet of hanging twine, a blindfold, smashing stick, and an assortment of Skittles, Starburst, Dum Dum Lollipops, Dots and Gummy Lifesavers to respectfully include sober partygoers in the fiesta.