Netflix Socks Will Pause Your Shows The Instant They Sense You’ve Nodded Off

Jason Lazarus February 15, 2016 299

Netflix coma, kids. It is a thing.

Binge-watching is nothing short of an endurance trial. Sure, original shows such as ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK and MARVEL’S JESSICA JONES are a more reasonable 13 episodes or so each. Over one wide-open weekend, that does fly stunningly fast. However, try to immerse yourself headlong into all 22 episodes per season of shows like BONES or ARROW sometimes, and all of a sudden, your “Netflix and chill” ambitions are cutting the actual viewing enjoyment short not with a game of Hide the Hot Dog, but nodding off only to wake up right in the middle of the shocking season finale.

Behold, the solution rests not in your hands, but warming your toes: Netflix Socks, kids. They are also a thing.

First off, knit a pair of socks. If the two remaining Beastie Boys mock just how crafty you aren’t, have a handy pal knit you a set that perhaps honors your favorite Netflix Original – say, a wrap-around portrait of Litchfield State Penitentiary or an “FU” pledging your allegiance to Frank Underwood (or simply telling off any binge buddy who dares to doubt the appeal of HO– — USE OF CARDS).

Pro Tip: feel free to hit up this handy link to download a few kitschy patterns created by the good people of Netflix themselves tipping their caps to BOJACK HORSEMAN, BLOODLINES, CHEF’S TABLE, DAREDEVIL and more.

Now comes not just the really cool part, but the stage that requires some technical savvy. The one job of these socks, other than concealing your grotesque hobbit toes, is to automatically pause Netflix when they detect you’ve fallen asleep. An embedded LED light in the sock’s cuff will flash red when the accelerometer detects a prolonged lack of movement. That’s your warning – assuming you’re actually still awake – that the sleep detection system is about to signal your TV to hit the brakes on your show.

Want to keep the party going? Move. Flick your foot. Scratch yourself. Jump up and do the Stanky Leg. The system is so sensitive, it can tell the difference between being frozen in rapt enjoyment and actually nodding off.

Fair warning, much like the heralded Netflix and Chill button that puts your fully integrated smart home controls in the mood for red-hot love, this isn’t Amateur Hour. Netflix developers have outdone themselves by compiling extensive but very doable schematic and a comprehensive parts list. However, you will still need to know a little something about knitting, basic DIY electronic engineering, and basic programming. If you’re up to the task, Netflix has even added a couple “extra credit” suggestions to boost the socks’ accuracy and sensitivity, such as IR repeaters to improve sensitivity from beneath coffee tables and blankets or a pulse sensor to pick up changes in your heart rate as you fall asleep.