C’mon, folks. No way we’re the only ones to have ever woken up so groggy that we can’t tell a Mr. Coffee from a racing helmet. Really, who hasn’t been that big a Gomer at some point, are we right? Eh?
Fine. Fine! It’s just us. Fortunately, Hammacher Schlemmer has gifted us this Off To The Races Coffeemaker that’s designed to just a play along with our somnambulant stupor.
Unfortunately, it isn’t exactly a two way street; after pumping anywhere from one to eight cups of piping-hot brew into a 64 oz. glass carafe, we cannot in good conscience recommend attempting to wear it as protective headgear. For one thing, there’s no hole in the bottom for your head. For another, trying to force your head through the heating element hurts in a very burning way.
We assume. That’s what we’ve been told, anyway. We’ve never been to disoriented in the morning that we’ve actually tried. Look for those hospital admission records that would claim otherwise all you want. We’re almost positive you’ll never find them.
The good news is, this miracle of modern caffeination actually announces “Start your engines” over a roaring engine. Its visor even flips down to hid the carafe between uses. If you’re feeling an A.M. need for speed, there’s no better pit stop for pumping a little high-octane fuel into your tank.
Includes a permanent built-in filter.