Are These The Biggest, Cuddliest And Maybe Creepiest Way To Keep Someone You Love Close?
“Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I’ll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too…”
Longing for the embrace of a loved one parted from you by insurmountable distance? Would you give just about anything in the world to press some part of your better half as close to you as your very skin? Alternately, is there a certain face whose exaggerated expression of disgust and abject horror you yearn to meet with a smirk as you smother it with your naked, sweaty ass?
We know. We are all-too-familiar with every second of those desires – not to mention, others we choose to keep just between us and well-compensated professionals who drop by for a few hours every Saturday night bearing strawberry preserves, ping-pong paddles and twine. Remember the regular mushions? That’s why we changed our lives and our far-away companions’ with Monster Mushions from Firebox, enormous cuddly cushions plastered with the warped faces from which we can’t bear to tear ourselves.
Even it isn’t an amorous accomplice to whom you long to nestle yourself, Monster Mushions make unexpectedly quirky housewarming gifts and absurd tributes to best friends, pets, cherished family members or even your own derpy mug. Your part of the equation is pretty simple: upload the high-quality, front-facing picture of your choosing. Firebox will take care of the rest and deliver unto you a gigantic plush avatar of the face you adore measuring 60 centimeters by 40 centimeters with black upholstery on the back.
Cuddle it. Snuggle it. Fart on it, if you would really spend money to let one rip on a fabric effigy of someone who repulses you. Personally, we love to hold ours an inch from the faces of sleeping guests until they wake up screaming.