Staring at this Mario Kart LED Twinkling Bracelet’s 15 luminous lights inspired us to wax philosophical about Rainbow Road’s foundational reality.
Stick with us.
What if that illustrious, vibrantly bedecked course is really nothing more than some cosmic overlord’s garish bangle? Much like their animated effigies’ circuitous traversal of this officially Nintendo-licensed trinket on this plane, have Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser and their peers been encircling a higher being’s wrist at breakneck speeds all this time? If so, is that almighty colossus watching with a gleeful grin as they carom uncontrollably off the track and marveling as they respawn unharmed?
Perhaps what we’ve always mistaken for a blue shell is little more than some stray blueberry fallen from the mighty behemoth’s muffin onto his dazzling accessory, only to be cleverly weaponized by these minuscule oblivious racers. Maybe, much the same way we can turn this bracelet’s dancing lights on or off at will with the push of a button, the spiteful leviathan could darken their path at his pleasure and cast an inky veil over their contest. Would he, as we would, need to occasionally plug their arena into a USB port and recharge its luminous magic for 60 minutes every eight hours or so?
Wait! Come back! You haven’t heard our proposal illustrating “Fester’s Quest” as an allegory for World War II!