Every so often, an item throws us completely off our expectations.
We genuinely thought we had seen every piece of superb licensed Star Wars merchandise and memorabilia that could make us furiously launch our cash at our screens at escape velocity. A Millennium Falcon drone. Some of the finest collectible figures ever to bend our Wookies to their will. Ural’s limited tribute “Dark Force” motorcycle – so ruthless and sexy, we would hesitate to lay a finger on the replica lightsaber mounted in the sidecar. An exclusive numbered-edition series of replicas modeled to the exact production specifications of the melted Darth Vader helmet seen in “The Force Awakens.”
After a while, the well of uniquely enthusiastic ways to describe the likenesses of Darth Vader, C-3PO, Chewbacca, and the like begins running dry.
Until today. Why? Because Life-Size R2-D2 Figure, that’s why.
After a year spent extolling the delightfully nerdy kitsch of popcorn-poppers, refrigerators, bento boxes and Bluetooth speakers modeled after the galaxy’s bravest and brightest Astromech, only Sideshow Toys could unveil a priced-to-own statue that manages to make us drool a new lake at our feet. They’ve spent the past year starting with the homestretch leading up to “The Force Awakens” hitting theaters in December 2015 outdoing themselves with superbly detailed figures, but this four-foot-tall rare creation just might top them all.
This brand-new sculpt is arguably the most realistic ever created to replicate the iconic droid. Sideshow honored Artoo’s lights, sounds, and every detail with screen-accurate exactness, right down to working holographic projectors and his dome rotating right and left at your command with the included remote stowed beside his speaker. As a thoughtful finishing touch, wherever Artoo stands in your home or office, he is guaranteed to always appear comfortably in his element: his base is styled to emulate the flooring of the Millennium Falcon.
He comes the catch. First, exercise the patience of a Jedi master. Sideshow is now accepting pre-orders, but the actual figures aren’t expected to ship until sometime between May and July 2017. Second, accept that if you can accept putting down $7,450 upfront or ten monthly payments of $745, your will to claim the most prized Star Wars merchandise known to all fan-kind knows no bounds and another ten months of waiting will be like killing younglings in a barrel.