Land Shark Steel Garden Sculpture: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Water The Azaleas

Yuk it up with the “Sharknado” trilogy all you like. We’re a bunch of monkeys sitting at typewriters today because life took a gamble and struggled out of the ocean millions of years ago to see what this whole “dry land” thing was about, and you bet your sweet bippy creatures of the sea aren’t done horning in on our territory yet.

(That answers the “monkeys” part. We’re sitting at typewriters because we don’t trust computers.)

When the denizens of the deep reach our doorsteps, we’d rather they believe that humanity saw that day coming as Neptune’s foretold kooky salvation. We could imagine no better way to welcome evolution’s latest pratfalls than with the Land Shark, a two-part metal lawn sculpture by Arizona artist Chris Crooks honoring Mother Nature’s perfect give-no-f***s eating machine.

Each section of this Goliath of the Grass is a hand-cut piece of bent and shaped metal aged with an attractive rust patina. As Jaws explodes from your lawn to devour your wussy little gnomes and deer ornaaments the way we scarf down tacos on Tuesday, it’s easy to admire the gills, teeth, and other thoughtful details Crooks added to this next-level landscaping addition.

Included mounting brackets will attach each steel segment to the accompanying 6″ lawn stakes for a sturdy fit. The Land Shark erects anywhere faster and easier than you can say, “Candygram!”
Land Shark Steel Garden Ornament 1

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