For all the revolutionary technological enhancements and breakthroughs that have augmented Tony Stark’s Iron Man suits through the years, we somehow can’t recall Marvel’s most groundbreaking genius billionaire playboy philanthropist ever installing a few convenient USB 3.0 ports. That’s an opportunity to make the world a better place that has been tragically overlooked for far too long.
Seriously, must the betterment of mankind always come down to reducing tanks to scrap with missiles, fighting the Hulk punch-for-punch to a stalemate, or flying solo through an interdimensional portal? Those are all fantastic applications for a trailblazing wearable personal arsenal, but imagine the good he could do the little guy just by charging a dead iPhone in half a heartbeat with a compact arc reactor powered by an element he invented. It’s sometimes the little things that make a hero, Tony.
The three-port Iron Man USB 3.0 Hub is modeled after the chestplate of Tony’s ultra-sleek Mark XLII armor. Since the iconic living apogee of Marvel’s military industrial complex couldn’t be arsed to build a standard fixture of your average laptop into his fancy-pants armor, we’re just going to have to settle for basking in the center arc reactor’s glowing neon blue LED lights illuminating our workspace. This accessory may be effectively futile against an assault by Ultron or Justin Hammer’s crappy knockoff drone suits, but we certainly appreciate just how conveniently this compact gadget travels.
After all, we can’t imagine a scenario when we wouldn’t be thankful for instant 5Gbps transfers via USB 3.0 SuperSpeed technology that stows comfortably in any space we would ordinarily stuff with a tablet.