Cats power the Internet. They know this by now. That’s why only mastery of resetting Netflix passwords separates our feline friends from ascending as Earth’s new furry overlords.
That’s also why soft vinyl Handicat finger puppets might be our last best hope to hold onto dominion over all creatures great and small. Look, we’ve watched our smug housepets launch themselves five feet or so into the air in kamikaze attacks on windows and French doors trying to bring down “invading” birds. Ancient Egyptians may have worshipped them as guardians of the Underworld, but their ancient ancestors will sure give a cucumber or Roomba a wide berth in every direction.
There’s no telling which human technology they find laughable and what makes them overflow litter boxes in terror. Our theory: passing off our fingers as curiously bald foot soldiers with these adorable five-piece puppets may lure the crazy little farts into false senses of security. Once they’re purring, all contented and approving, we take back our Interwebz.
Perhaps, one day, you shall haz cheezburger, Chairman Meow. But not this day.