It’s a small world, after all…and we dare you to make that witty-ass observation in the face of this unimpressed-looking Gnomeland Security Garden Gnome conveniently standing at optimal shin-splitting height.
He may stand a seemingly modest 9″, but don’t let his vertical shortcomings fool you: one quip about “how many infidels it takes to change a lightbulb”, and any smartass traveler will learn this wee defender of domestic freedom doesn’t want for determination to carry out a Roto Rooter-classic cavity search.
Hey, when Mother Nature sold you this short, who needs appendages? This stony chap doesn’t waste time fumbling around blindly when he could just as easily pretend he’s John McClane and some wiseguy’s pooper is the Nakatomi Building’s duct system.
