Go ahead. Give this four-foot-wide inflatable Giant Eyeball Pool Float an eyeful of your moneymaker. That is literally what you pay for in this case, isn’t it?
Look, we’re just saying, there may be no better way to press a bulging eyeball against your sweaty bum without having to explain to a judge just how anyone that drunk could be allowed to perform Lasik surgery.
Don’t ask. Just accept that we might not be kidding.
In addition to being easy to inflate, deflate, wipe down and store, this cozy float’s pupil is a cushy mesh seat. We definitely consider that an improvement over actual human eyes. Yes, we know from experience. Being organ couriers just wasn’t for us, apparently. Surgeons evidently frown on dressing up like John Cena, pressing a transplant eye to your anus, and proclaiming, “You can’t see me!” It’s sure better and more fun than getting one of these eyeball tattoos on your bum,