It may sound corny or even just a bit nutty, but give summer your biggest and brightest “Howdy-ho!” while laid back atop a tightly coiled floating pile of emoji poop.
We never in a dozen lifetimes would have believed we would ever say this, but the Emoji Universe Giant Inflatable Poop Float just might be this season’s most unforgettable way to soak up the sun at the beach, in the pool, or wherever life could stand to be just a bit more merrily shitty. Just look at this happy guy. There’s nothing he wants more than to create the illusion that you took a dump for the ages while swimming and just decided to make like Modest Mouse and float on when it billowed out into an accidental raft beneath you.
This five-foot creation of Kangaroo Pool Floats is sewn from heavy-duty .25mm vinyl at least a half-millimeter thicker than most inflatable rafts. It is literally tough shit.