Would that this wasn’t such a clever way to douse a burning thirst, we’d have some words with the makers of this 1.5 liter Fire Extinguisher Cocktail Shaker.
It isn’t that we regard this as anything less than one very cool novelty bar tool. It doesn’t merely look the part of a fire extinguisher, but functionally dispenses the hooch from its hose’s nozzle by squeezing the top lever, just like a real one. All told, from the pressure gauge and working handle to the hose, it’s a pretty damn faithful recreation except for the clear plastic body revealing not fire-suppressing chemicals but boozy libations. That distinguishing transparent casing alone has quelled our confusion long enough several times to avoid showering Duane from Accounting’s latest R&D attempts to create a metal-safe microwave in Cosmopolitans instead of blaze-smothering foam.
In fact, we have only got one gripe: the Fire Extinguisher Cocktail Shaker falls woefully short in terms of comparable pressurization. Oh, you understood us correctly. A Manhattan fired from this little guy at more than ten paces wouldn’t put out a Zippo. Sure, it’s well and good for filling up a highball, but we occasionally think to ourselves, “It would sure be nice to serve that lady over there a drink, but she’s six feet away and the Buffalo wings are over here. If only something could simply blast a cocktail at high velocity through the air and roughly toward her mouth from right where we’re standing…”
If only.
