Cubicle slaves don’t have the market cornered on getting antsy while chained to a desk nine hours a day, five days a week. A good number of us work at home, and we have our moments during the day when an epileptic death row inmate watching “Pokémon” from the comfort of an electric chair has an easier time sitting still for five seconds.
That’s why we could kiss the Kickstarter-backed creators of the Fidget Cube, a tiny vinyl desk toy that makes up for our inability kick time in the ass and put some hustle in its step by offering a six-sided die full of idle amusements.
For those of us who share space with co-workers much more zen in their patience for 5 p.m. to arrive about as rapidly as George R.R. Martin finishes manuscripts, but who at least once a day threaten threaten to impale a bitch’s uvula with the next gel pen they hear click, the Fidget Cube features a pleasant balance of slightly noisy buttons and switches and ones that never make a sound. Courtesy to others aside, it’s also a consideration for the fact that different people react differently to different stimuli.
For example, one side has five small buttons arranged like divots in a traditional die. Three of them click softly but audibly, while the other two are perfectly silent. Another is recessed with an oval indentation that can be gently rubbed to alleviate anxiety, in the style of a worry stone. The switch side can softly pivot back and forth for quiet fidgeting or more quickly for a satisfying click. There’s even one that emulates the smooth glide of a video game controller’s analog stick.
It’s a stylish toy designed for easy anxiety relief that also happens to look great on any fidgeter’s desktop. Fidget Cube creators Matthew and Mark McLachlan initially set out on their Kickstarter campaign seeking a modest $15,000 to put this handheld desk diversion into production. Well, that isn’t exactly what they’ll end up getting. Thanks to 98,193 backers at the time of this writing, with 35 days to go in their funding drive as of Sept. 15, they’ve amassed $4,276,912.