Since we happen to also be avowed bibliophiles – simply defined for some, “People who will voodoo-hex four generations of your bloodline to come if you interrupt our reading to ask us, ‘What are you reading?'” – this astonishing oenophile’s elaborate wine cellar database gave us pause to chuckle at how it would have been received in the time of Edgar Allen Poe.
“Siri, find me the nearest cask of Amontillado…”
Were anyone but the obscenely, fabulously wealthy to make the far-flung outlay for this incredible Wine Cellar Management System, we would wonder what would be left in the budget to actually purchase wine. Its barcode labeling of each bottle catalogues each grape varietal’s country and region of origin with the capacity to mark its exact cellar location and even its price for display on a 17″ touchscreen computer. Connect the computer to the Internet, and it instantly pulls the selection’s ratings, current values and tasting notes for at-a-glass assessment. The system even projects the approximate date when a wine will achieve its perfect maturity.
Basically, the wireless scanner removes it from the inventory when ready to drink. This ever-connected library of libations just happens to also store in a stately handcrafted solid-oak stand with dovetail joints.
Us? Well, we do just fine with a Post-It labeled, “Box of Merlot Under The Sink” or “Need Two-Buck Chuck” or “Duane – You owe me a bottle of Boone’s Farm”.