Hey….HEY! We see that look. You’d better be no less than The Rock himself, raising that eyebrow our way, because we’ll break this down for a fraction right now: we love us some Tiki.
No, not “tacky”. An animatronic bass that sings a squelched rendition of “Take Me To The River” when you walk past it? That is tacky. A Chia-Pet molding of President Obama’s head that grows greenery out into an admittedly awesome afro? Tacky.
“Tiki” is a fun, colorful style that honors the aesthetics and traditions of Poynesian lore – in this case, by growing lush plants out the top of tiki statues’ heads until they look like they banged Yahoo Serious. Still, come on. You can’t seriously look at these gorgeous stone planters in various shades of granite and sandstone without wanting one of these fine square-jawed South Pacific fellows keeping watch over your pool, barbecue pit, and matching torches.
Yeah, that’s what we thought. It may be too late to welcome these upstanding tiki gents to your Summer’s-Last-Hurrah Labor Day shindig, but on the bright side, you have 12 months of LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE re-enactments ahead of you. Silver Snakes forever, babies.