We can’t help but wonder, if Tyrannosaurus Rex still terrorized our planet, would we all really be laughing so hard at those adorably ineffectual arms? Would he take one look at this Dinosaur Bottle Opener and wonder, just who do these screaming Happy Meals think they are?
That’s typically about when we remind ourselves that no known evidence has ever suggested that even dinosaurs of the most relatively advanced intelligence were likely capable of feeling insulted. We then slip the cap topping a bottle of our favorite microbrew into the jaws of this nine-inch-long and five-inch-high prehistoric predator, pry that lid loose, and have the kind of laugh at its absurd little appendages that we definitely wouldn’t as long as we’re anything short of Chris Pratt clones.
After all, this cast-iron Cretaceous badass puts us much more at ease within arm’s reach hanging out on our bar than his full-size likeness would have about 65 million years ago staring us down across a field the way a sumo wrestler in training sizes up the last piece of unagi roll.