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Dino Hoodie Keeps Caveman Warm Through The Next Ice Age

Certain things in our world just make everything better. Without fail. Peanut butter, sriracha sauce and bacon somehow make anything and everything more delicious than words do justice. There is nothing that can’t be made so compelling as to leave us hanging on every spoken breath when narrated by Morgan Freeman. Dwayne Johnson has well and truly earned the distinction “box office Viagra” for his penchant for making stalling franchises throb with new raging excitement.

Cowbell? Listen, if we go to Heaven and the choruses of angels don’t have us thinking of Blue Oyster Cult, we’ll pass, thanks.

Etsy’s theseamdesigns stumbled upon one more fact of universal enhancements: to make absolutely anything 200-percent more awesome, add more dinosaurs. Want to dial your manhood’s volume right past “11” and up to “12”? Dress like you’ve just slain a dinosaur and skinned its dome to keep your own ears warm. The wool Dino Hoodie is a hand-crocheted cap in green, dark grey or other custom colors that’s made to order for the modern caveman who must brave winter’s chill in style. Each medium-weight hoodie is made to order for ideal comfort, but rush delivery is always available for an extra cost if two weeks is simply too long to wait for a custom accessory.

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