Death Star Toaster Is No Moon, It’s Breakfast For The Dark Side
Every time you pull out this officially licensed Star Wars Death Star Toaster, let your thoughts wander to just how incredible the dining facilities must have been onboard the Galactic Empire’s two moon-dwarfing space stations.
Darth Vader isn’t exactly a meat-and-potatoes guy after losing history’s quintessential game of “The Floor is Lava” to Obi-Wan Kenobi, but that doesn’t change the reality that everyone else from stormtroopers to Emperor Palpatine himself still have to subsist on actual solid foods. What is he going to do, insist that anyone enjoying a carb-a-licious slice or two of toast is passive-aggressively mocking him and go around Force-choking everybody?
Never mind. That actually sounds entirely plausible.
On the other hand, if someone were clever enough to equip each kitchen with this fine appliance that sears a TIE fighter into anyone’s favorite pastry, bread or bagel in seconds, maybe it would actually amuse the tin man enough for him to heat up a few slices for himself and just wave them around the toaster making adorable “Pew! Pew!” sounds.
