Popcorn jammed between your incisors? We find your lack of floss disturbing.
The ability to “force” those stray kernels loose with your tongue is insignificant next to the power of a sharp stick. The Darth Vader Toothpick Dispenser puts the power of the Pointy Side between your fingers by swiping the ruthless Sith Lord’s hand into his cape at the push of a button to retrieve a handy dental accessory.
Emperor Palpatine’s legendary apprentice can only reminisce on the aggravation of poking little bits from the space between his teeth. Receiving one’s liquid nutrients intravenously and occasionally by way of a feeding tube makes for a trade-off: true, you never have to seek out a shiny surface to inspect your chompers for stray spinach before greeting someone with a smile, but all the combined mysticism of both sides of the Force isn’t going to make liquefied corn on the cob taste like the real thing.
You are not Darth Vader. We like to hope most of you weren’t left to die burning and screaming by your best friends. Assuming that, it stands to reason you don’t have to spend the vast majority of your time wearing a giant black helmet. That frees you to savor simple edible pleasures that simply aggravate certain homicidal galactic despots.
Please, chew responsibly. May the pick be with you, always.
