
Darth Vader, ladies and gentlemen: Worst. Boss. Ever.
Take some gratis advice: when your co-worker gets good and thoroughly put into his place for snarking on the chosen religion of the guy who signs his paychecks – and by “put into his place”, we mean “his trachea collapsed like an empty Red Bull can” – take a hint. Keep your words soft and sweet, because your windpipe could become the plaything of a cyborg burn victim any time you fart out of turn.
It would be a monumentally bad idea to pop into your meeting ill-prepared. That being said, it couldn’t exactly hurt your chances of your frail, fleshy body becoming his personal hands-free stress ball when you stroll in five minutes late to suck up a bit by toting this Darth Vader Briefcase. It slings over the shoulder on a STAR WARS logo-embossed strap with a 12″-23″ and holds a securely padded laptop case on the inside. Lord Vader’s fearsome helmet is embossed on the outside along with another logo and detailing styled after the legendary Sith Lord’s armor. Just to project an extra element of formidable power befitting a more civilized time, the carrying handle is a finely detailed facsimile of Vader’s own lightsaber hilt.
Though ideally sized for a 17″ laptop, remember to measure your closed device’s length and width on the edges before ordering. If nothing else, input your laptop’s make and model into Google to look up some telling schematics without a single Bothan life lost.