Dark Crystal Funko Pop Brings The Magical Fantasy World Home

We consider it a sort of nerdy alchemy that the power of Funko POP! Vinyls could turn the unintentional bed-yellowing terror of Jim Henson’s “The Dark Crystal” into a nuclear mushroom cloud of adorable.

Seriously, this is tampering with the natural order of our childhood memories. If you’ve never seen this somewhat infamous fantasy flop and there’s a very special child in your life that has engendered your hatred, cover your couch in plastic and watch this one together. Provided it happens to be someone else’s kid, smile brightly when handing the little tree-climber back to its parents. It’s our philosophy when asked to babysit that if we performs ineptly enough when asked to do something a first time, we generally won’t be asked again.

It’s one thing to make Jen, Kira, and Fizzgig look magnitudes more endearing. That isn’t much of a stretch. It’s another entirely to make us hurl money at our screens because we are convinced one-eyed wrinkly, scowling Aughra must now watch over our knick-knacks for all time.

There’s turning “chicken shit into chicken salad” and then there’s turning nightmare urine into lemonade.

All five “The Dark Crystal” Funko POP! Vinyls are available now for $9.99 each.